If you're thinking about hiring Tree Martschink as your lawyer, DON'T! He's the worst lawyer I've ever heard of. Tree Martschink once missed a court hearing because he got his arm caught in a microwave. He's that dumb. He doesn't even have a real office! He runs his law practice out of a storage unit that he doesn't even own! It belongs to his nephew! Tree Martschink is such an idiot he misspelled his own name on his letterhead.
Tree Martschink is a Big Dumb Doofus Lawyer